The importance of mindset in creating your best life

When you embark on the journey of self-development, you quickly realise the importance of mindset and how crucial your inner dialogue is.

Before I dived into the world of self-help, I was taking a lot of things personally. I was focusing on the negatives and often allowed others to have a lot of influence on my mood. Whenever something happened, I would replay the situation and complain about the unfairness of the situation or someone’s behaviour. In essence, I was adding fuel to the fire. Looking back, I can see that I was only harming myself.

Think about it: instead of moving on and focusing on the positive aspects of my life, I was dwelling on the negative. I was willingly choosing to be stressed and annoyed for an extended time instead of doing something to change my mood for the better.

Over the years, I improved my thinking patterns, but it wasn’t till recently that I decided to truly take the importance of mindset seriously. That change came from a single decision: I wanted to live a happier, better life. 

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.”

Henry Ford

So, what changes did I implement?

• Only positive thoughts first thing in the morning – you know when you just wake up and your thoughts automatically go: “I don’t want to get up, I have a tough meeting in the morning which I am not looking forward to, I wish I didn’t have to go to work today.” Sounds familiar? I made a conscious shift. Now I focus on the great things that can happen during the day: It is going to be a beautiful day. I am looking forward to the after-workout feeling. I am excited to chat with my friends today. 
• Setting an intention for the day – while I acknowledge that I can’t control what happens in the day, I can certainly control how I show up. Trust me, when you set a clear intention, more often than not, your day goes as you wanted it to. To give you a better idea, I will say something along the lines: “My intention for today is to have a beautiful day filled with joy, laughter, and building stronger connections with people.” On that day I somehow watch something funny or speak with someone who says something that makes me laugh, I come across people that I can have a deeper conversation with. 
• Paying attention to what I think throughout the day – it is easy to fall into familiar thinking patterns. If you genuinely want to change your thoughts, you must start by noticing when your thoughts become negative or when you focus on what you don’t want. Whenever this happens to me, I redirect my thinking towards what I do want and focus on more positive outcomes. If that doesn’t work, I disrupt my thinking altogether by watching something funny, dancing in the living room, or going for a walk.
• Listening to upbeat music – I started to listen to music that is upbeat, has a positive message or reminds me of great memories. It always helps to put me in a better mood. I mostly play such music in the morning, but I also turn it on during the day when my mood is down.

By making these changes and reinforcing them through morning routines and evening rituals, I have noticed a significant difference in how I feel every day and how differently people respond to me. Friends and acquaintances have even commented on the positive energy that shines through. 

If you’re contemplating making changes, you may wonder, “How do I start?” Well, it all begins with being conscious and making small adjustments in your daily habits.  

We often operate on autopilot, so it takes some time to implement those changes. It is a gradual process. Initially, you start by simply noticing the thoughts you wish to change. Then, you consciously replace, and eventually, the positive and uplifting thoughts become your default. They become second nature. 

If you find it challenging to come up with a replacement thought on the spot, take some time out of your schedule to list the negative go-to thoughts and create better-sounding alternatives. Read them several times so you’re better prepared when the negative narrative starts in your head.

What I noticed and makes the process easier is that once you decide you want to change your thinking patterns, you gradually start noticing when they show up. 

Where focus goes, energy flows. And where energy flows, whatever you’re focusing on grows.

Tony robbins

Before I wrap up, I must admit something: It isn’t sunshine and rainbows every day for me. I still catch myself reverting to old patterns from time to time. This is perfectly normal, and I acknowledge that it might happen again in the future. The difference is that when you’re more conscious of the old patterns it is easier to acknowledge them and steer towards new, more positive ways of thinking simply because you are self-aware.

We all encounter positive and negative experiences, and it’s perfectly fine to get angry, sad or frustrated. What matters in such situations is to be kind to yourself and continue to make the changes that will benefit you in the long run.